Our Journey of Faith: October 2015

October 17th, 2013. The day we found out that we were expecting Danielle. I remember sitting in the recliner looking out at our beautiful maple in the backyard, its leaves aglow with gorgeous hues of deep crimson. The fall season has always been my favorite. But that morning especially, the crisp air went straight to refreshing my soul. I had such a feeling of contentment. Fulfillment. Of something -- someone -- long awaited and prayed for. Fulfillment that would still leave a longing in my heart.

Two years later to the day. This is my view. A view that literally causes tears to well up in my eyes. Because now I actually have that fulfillment WITH me. In my arms. I have his beautiful eyes and smile to look at. And it absolutely captures and overwhelms me. I have gone to the passage above hundreds of times in the last year. I began praying it even before we were pregnant with Colin. Isaiah 64:3-4. "...when YOU did awesome things which we did not expect." Enough said. This whole chapter in our lives was not expected. God completely unfolded it right before us. "...WHO acts in behalf of the one who waits for HIM." I marked this passage in November of last year. We had met the Andersons at this point and felt it was God's leading to move forward in this process. So I asked God to continue to work on our behalf. And He did in a marvelous way.

It's been 3 weeks of absolutely soaking in this precious bundle that God has loaned us. There are so many emotions that I have experienced in the last few weeks. I haven't written a lot yet about our precious one, because quite frankly...I still cannot comprehend it or put it accurately into words. (And of course there's that "no sleep" thing which makes it a bit hard to write coherently!) I still have moments when I hear something about parenting a baby, and all of a sudden realize --"Hey! I'm included in that now." My heart spent so long being guarded and wishing to be part of that mommy club, who could talk about sleepless nights and midnight feedings. I still miss our 3 in heaven (our first baby, Dani, and Colin's twin), and my heart still hurts for those friends who are still waiting and asking God to fulfill their heart's desire. I want you to know that I still pray for you in the middle of the night. Our past journey has made holding this sweet Little Man that much more joyful. To the point of tears and the realization of...

Sacrifice. While we were waiting as Autumn endured a very LONG arduous labor, I had gone to the waiting room...completely overcome with tears at what was happening. We had sacrificed so much to get to this point. The Andersons had sacrificed so much. We've had to put a lot of trust in each other as couples. But I stood there thinking that this is one of the clearest pictures on earth that I have been given of what sacrifice is. Completely and totally God's love to me poured out through someone else. As I looked at a gorgeous sunset out the window, I could not help but think of Jesus' love and death for me. I hope you get the gift of seeing such a clear picture of this in your life.

We kept Little Man's name a secret till his birth...because I was pretty adamant that I wanted Autumn and Donovan to be the first to hear it.

Colin. Meaning "People's Victory." He is a victorious chapter to our story. (And also the only name Brandon and I finally agreed on.)

Anderson. Pretty self explanatory. After I cut the cord (an amazing experience), Autumn instantly asked his name. I got to tell her and Donovan that Colin would forever carry their name in honor of what they had done for us. Yes, he is biologically ours. A precious, precious thing that every day we get to look at him and see the resemblance he holds to Dani Grace. But he will also know this amazing family and their part in his life.